If that makes me lose out on friends, I'll be the first one to start signing people off. For too long now I have been called a number of names, all of which I haven't deserved and have been ill-prescribed. I live with self-proclaimed "open-minded liberals" who do nothing more than bash me for being a hipster, and make me feel like a bad person because I didn't date their friend. It is none of your goddamned business who I choose to date, and if I choose to not date. Just because I go out with you once, does not mean I am going to be yours.
Another lifelong friend of mine has disregarded me based on the selfish assumption, when it was her who has been selfish our whole life, and when I finally decide to voice my opinion, albeit negative toward her actions, she doesn't talk to me for a year and instead decided to shit talk my name amongst our mutual friends. I don't even know what to say to that, other than if I stayed the same person I was when I was in high school, I would still be desperately hitting on douche bags at the mall and pretending to love screamo. I would gladly toss out our friendship if it means I can act like a real person now, and say what I am really feeling, instead of always nursing your sympathies and trying to help you with your constant break ups and life fuck ups.
A little explanation of myself for the (few, if any) readers at home.
Me in high school: black and white paul frank shirts, cargo jeans, first gen iPod with plethora of emo and screamo bands, me smiling for the crowds and in the meantime, attempting to be an underacheiver like my best of friends. Spent many nights crying away my loneliness, and hopelessly trying to attach myself to any positive force I found. Graduated with a 4.0, and still didn't have the guts or confidence to challenge myself to anything more than remedial community college. One of my biggest regrets.
Me now: Senior at UT, living in a co-op. Always pushing myself to try to be and do better, still with cynical tendancies toward the greater humanity. I still dislike the mindless majority of people, and since I never have a problem speaking up about this, many find me negative and self-righteous. I change clothes a minimum of 3 times a day, and never stop thinking about style, fashion, film, and people. I want to help people, but only those who can help themselves. I am aloof when it comes to men, only because it has severely fractured my perception of self worth in years past. I don't want to be recognized for my physical attributes. I think most men are intimidated by a woman that has a brain and can speak her mind. For that reason, I stopped trying to please guys because I now refused to sell myself short. I work too hard on myself to simply come home and make your dinner and fuck you and do my hair and fall asleep. I am no one's girl.
This girl is not that girl anymore. So fuck your perception of me, just let people live their lives. I don't make you feel like shit when you eat your tofu day and night, so don't judge me when I wear my clothes or say what I say.
2 comments:
I wouldn't like you as much as I do if you were subservient.
For the record, I never heard anyone at Taos speak a word against you.
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