This dog is right, I do drop a lot of cracker crumbs

Alright okay. I know what all of you are thinking. She admitted she is back in residence in Austin, Texas and whatisshegonnadonowadays? Oh I know you are all wondering what a burnt out UT grad is going to do with that piece of paper.

Just so you know, I tried to frame it, and it didn't fit, so it is sitting behind my desk in my parents' house.

But really, there are no excuses now. I have been back from Europe, back from Dallas, back from New Orleans, back from Chicago, and what am I going to do now?

In the long term, I want to write. I want to go and see and come home and write and write and sleep and write. I want to know where culture and people are going, and show that to others who just don't know where to find it yet. I want to make awkward people feel connected through my words, and maybe make us hate each other a little less.

In the short term, I want a paycheck that involves some sort of skill that I have. I would even settle to work some place where I might learn a new skill, such as screen printing or latte-making. Did you hear me, Quacks on 43rd? Hire me for goodnesssake.

But looking back, why am I still so not ready to work? Was it because my trip to Europe turned out to be ten times more exhausting than I thought, and I still really haven't had time to take all of that in? Or is it because I went from college student one day, to homeless and wandering the next? Was it because I had been in a failing halfway-relationship for a year, and things all seemed to turn around on the one day I thought would wrap up all emotional roller coasters for a while (my last day of college).

Maybe it is because this is the first time in my life that I haven't had something planned next, and don't have any accomplishments written on sterile paper to bring home and prove to my parents. Maybe it is because now, for the first time, I really stand alone, and just admit that I am Mandy, a person. Maybe it is because I should have taken some time to myself a long time ago, and have been pushing myself to the side for 4 years now. Or maybe I m just getting used to sleeping in.

But forgive me not for being 22, a college graduate, a motivated person, and still I don't log onto Craigslist for my dream job.

Improv is in order for tonight, and talks of a potential David Bowie party in the works.