Cotton candy clouds and things we've all been missing

disillusioned patterns
A lot has changed in this brain over the past few weeks. After months on the job search, I finally found a part-time job as an assistant in an office. I can't exactly wave my new degree at it or anything, but it helps my dwindling bank account until I decide to grow up and actually talk business over the phone. Until then, I am a drifter.

It didn't take me long to get this way. College, and the constant stress and anxiety that came with moving away from home, dedicating myself to a major that I didn't care for, and not finding my little nook in this city, made it hard for me to ever really relax and let my mind open. I read, I watched decent films, and I stayed in touch with a social scene with a pulse so irregular, you start to wonder if all of the Red Bulls are keeping up with you. I graduated, and after a short stay outside of the States, came back to a wonderful and caring man back here in Austin. My running start on life would soon be reflected in my "can-do anything" attitude, and I was keeping all options open, peeking under every rock to find what I could do with myself next. Writing was an obvious goal, but is something I can't rely on to pay the bills consistently. Advertising jobs I was qualified for, but in a slowing job market and a city over populated with hungry creatives, I'll need a good handshake and a foot in the door for this job. I can do office work, but feel that I can and should push myself to try harder. But that is what I ended up with, and I am just glad to be able to buy lunch again.

In the meantime, I have been searching the wires in my brain for what really makes us all happy. I've started paying attention to details I taught myself to ignore all those years. The tiny fibers that make up the smallest corner of a kitchen dish towel, the faces you can see in a rock if you just look hard enough. The humor and pain that is in every moment of our lives, that we are missing when we just aren't open to enjoying it.

But not to get all philosophical on you guys or anything.